If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think I am morally bankrupt
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
