I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
