On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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