i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
