I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
