If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
