And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize