Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
