just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
