How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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