I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
