no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
