so explain again why im purple
no
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
