It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
