What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
