margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
