All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
