Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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