Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
