But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
