Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
