Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
