So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
