I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
