try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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