I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
