Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
