I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I had to cum in my sink.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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