Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
