My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
