my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I just sharted jello shots
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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