Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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