sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
