the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
