is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
