I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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