I look better un-naked...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
