someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
