just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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