I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
