i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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