Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
