Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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