I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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