take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize