Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
