I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize