I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
