I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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