I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
