i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
