Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize