I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
