I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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