Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
