We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
