just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
