READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
