i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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