i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize