Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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