and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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