4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
