handjob tips. give me some.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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