I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
