cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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