$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize