I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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