Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
