i already hear my dad disowning me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
