well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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